05 May, 2010

come to my wonderland

Hello world! how are you today? are you missing me? well I miss you like crazy! it's been like more than a week since my last post, I know, I know... my bad, but seriously it's like I got cursed or something, everytime, like every single time I made a promise to myself that I will updating my blog more often, and BAMM! something happen. It can be anything, more homework, or my girls suddenly make plans to go to the mall, or more homework ( mostly it's because more homework. so yeah) so I'm so sorry, what can I do? I'm cursed remember? hehehe

Okay, I've got a story to tell, and this might gonna be a long one, so grab your tea and cookies and get ready to hear my story ( or read?).
This is a story about one lucky kid, well she's not a kid, she's 11 years old already, so lets just call her a young lucky girl. and why she's lucky?

here's why .... so this girl was so wooowed, is wooowed is even a word? no? okay, just say she's astonished. More like shocked when someone emailed her. To cut a long story short, we just skipped the part where she's jumping around like stupid for hours okay? and oh and the part where she read the email like 10 times over and over again. So we go the part where she already knew that the person who emailed her name was mbak Ratih, a beautiful woman who work in publisher company. Mbak Ratih asked for meeting with this lucky girl, but since school is kinda overwhelmed, she said she can't. Out of nowhere Mbak Ratih called her ( she's shocked for sure, because she never gave her number to anyone, well she's not allowed to )

Mbak Ratih was super duper nice woman, she said she really need to meet this girl, and after a few phone call and email. The result is : Mbak Ratih is gonna meet her in some place called beautiful castle mall ( hehehe, yes Puri Indah Mall), and Mbak Ratih looks just like what she imagine she would be, she looks beautiful, classy and gentle too. It's kinda hard to believe for that lucky girl, Mbak Ratih really willing to accros universe just to meet her ( hahaha, not really universe, but it's quite far. that girl lived in west side and Mbak Ratih work in south side). After a long fun talk, Mbak Ratih open her big black bag and gave her a pencil, a pen and a drawing book, she asked that girl to draw anything she want, so she drawed her favorite character, named Lola. Out of nowhere, Mbak Ratih offering that lucky girl, that very lucky girl to make her own book, a fairy tale book, with story and ilustration all by her.

From her email Mbak Ratih already talked about her and a book by her, but fairy tale?? ilustrator?? whooaa! She's got nothing to say, she's speechless, it feels like someone just sucked up her soul. The only words that popped out from her mind is AY CARAMBA!!! Mbak Ratih told her to think about it, and gave her a week to decide. She's one lucky girl isn't she?

Am I that easy to guess? yes you got me right. That lucky girl is me. and last Monday is the day that I have to give Mbak Ratih the answer. Do you want to know what my answer is? I'll give you a hint. I'm a stupid girl. so yeah, this stupid girl said no. It's the hardest conversation ever, to call Mbak Ratih and tell her why, but like I told you before she's one of the nicest lady I ever knew, she's fully understand and said, anytime, anywhere I change my mind I can always call her. She even said that I'm the coolest kid she ever meet in live. Whoaaa! that's too much. really too much. I'm more like this shy girl with glasses and look tottaly like a geek. I even still on my uniform that day. One of the sweet conversation I had with her on the phone. Mbak Ratih (MR), and me.
MR : so we meet in starbuck okay? at 4 pm, I'll wait for you with a cake ready just for you
Me : hehehe thank you! but how do I recognize you? or how do you recognize me? should I wear some red jacket or something?
MR : you don't have to, I'll recognize you.
Me : well how you...
MR : I just have to look the coolest kid in town, how hard could it be?
Me : wrooong... you have too look for a strange kid with oversize uniform and round glasses
MR : yes a strange cool kid
Me : no no no, just strange.

and yes she recognised me the minute I enter the door, with my worry nanny follow me behind. She's waving with her perfect smile and perfect cake ready on the table, she kissed me on my cheek and said
MR : see, it's not hard. the coolest kid in town just like I told you.
me : speechless.

I already told Mbak Ratih the reason behind my no answer, and she said it was okay. And somehow I feel like I owe you all an explanation too, but really, it's not easy to get me, even my sister sometimes said that I'm kinda twisted. hahaha, somehow I can't say that I'm not. you see.. the reason is, it's just... just not feels right. The idea of me making my own book in my age was overwhelming, but there's something inside of me that keep on whisper, "are you sure?", "are you ready for this?", "is this what you really want?" gosh, it's hard. Do you watch Oprah? I bet you do, well me too, she's one of some person I look into, I maybe don't have a mom to show me the way, but I still have Oprah right? and she once said
"before you agree to do anything that might add even the smallest amount of stress to your life, ask yourself : what is my true intention? Give yourself time to let yes resound within you. When it's right. I guarantee that your entire body will feel it."

and me, don't hear any "yes", well to be true, you can call me a chicken or whatever. but seriously I'm scared. too scared. Because it's not gonna end up there, believe me I know. People will put their eyes on me, well don't get me wrong, I'm beyond happy when someone called my name in the crowd asked for photos, a short chat or even just a little kiss, believe me you make my whole week beautiful with that. But more than that, really, I'm not sure I can handle it. well maybe not yet.

Even now I feel that my life is kinda different compare to my friends. One of my friend told me that she has a cousin who knows me from my blog and really curious about me, and when me and my friends go for a movie we accidentally bumped with her cousin, and the next day she told me that her cousin thinks I dress too usual and nothing special, and she tought I will be lot cooler. Well all I can say is, what should I wear then? I just go for a movie with friends in mall that only took 10 minutes from home. do I supposed to wear a vintage dress? a boots? don't think so. Do you see what I mean? somehow someway people expect something more fand more from me and I'm not sure I can manage more than this for now. I don't want more people coming just to seek my mistakes, because I do alot of mistakes, and it feels not good, it feels like hell when you know someone is diggin for your flaws, well I can assure you that I'm not flawless. Mbak Ratih said to me, if you do this, more people will love me, and some will love me more. and I answered yes, true, but maybe more people will hate, and more people will hate me more.

About hate, I'm trying to ignore it, well people love people hate. I'm trying to go easy with that. but what I scared about is I'm too young, I'm only 11. oh yes, that's also why sometimes I refused some interview, some magazine feature. I do love an interview, it's crazy seeing your face on a magz! It's not I'm being snob or anything, but there was a lot of times when I think that my friends and school are more important. It's always makes me sad everytime my sister pull a face when she knows that I'm refused an interview for only a movie out with my friends. but it's not just 'only' for me. this what matters for me. I know you never even try to force me or anything, but I know that you feel disappointed, and It's hell for me knows that I'm letting you down. I never explain this to you, but from all of the people in the world I tought you'll understand.

I love fashion so much sir, love it to death, but what if ? only what if, someday I get bored? someday I don't feel like to dress up anymore. and it's to late, people already put a mark on me, a fashion girl. what people gonna say? And how if someday I have this big passion on something else but because I already drown to deep, I loose all the will swim for another island ?.
Oprah also said : "Often we don't even realize who we're meant to be because we're so busy trying to live out someone else's ideas. But other people and their opinions hold no power in destiny"

Me, I'm still 11 and I don't want when I get number 17 I loose all of my will to win. I don't want being 11 and already give all of me. Let me just prepare myself, so when I think I'm ready for something more. I am ready. So I still got something to suprise you all. And let me just prepare myself, so it will be more hard when someone try to knock me down. It's crazy I know, put down a great chance, but it is true what Oprah said once again : "As you become more clear about who you really are, you'll be better able to decide what is best for you - the first time around"

Something I know for sure is that now I love the thing the way it is, love to blog, love to dress up, love to take pictures, love when you said hi to me, love to go to my own crazy wonderland. And this is the best for me now. Love you all way to much! kisses and hugs!

and I also know this fo sure, I love love love this picture of me by kak Tatiana. Love you so much kak!


and talking about wonderland, here's me in my wonderland, do you know that Alice is not the only person who had visited Wonderland? oh you don't know? well now you know. hehehe.










so dance anyone?





we're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance
~ japanese proverb

headband : chloris
dress : old dress
socks : sox gallery
shoes : aixaggio

so have you been to wonderland?

*background are courtesy of disney from Alice in wonderlan movie :)

~ to Mbak Ratih thank you sooo sooo much, and this post is dedicated to you, and yes of course we can always talk. just give me a call!

ps : please mind my bad bad grammar. hehehe


Melati Kusuma Wardhani said...

oh Good evita! :D AWESOME

nindy said...

menurut saya sih, sayang juga kesempatan sebesar itu hehe.
waktu seusia kamu, saya pengeeen banget bisa nerbitin buku...sebelum lulus SD. tapi akhirnya sampe sekarang malah belum kesampaian *curhat jadinya*

btw rambut kamu keren yak :D

Anonymous said...

I really wish you'll say yes to make your own book. it's going to be great (yes yes I'm imagining your book with pink cover and cute fonts). But it's your decision, and I know you knew what is the best for you ;D

nice pictures, Evita! love them!

Carys said...

These are the most beautiful photos I've ever seen, and that outfit is just lovely! So glad I found your beautiful blog, so inspirational!
From Carys of La Ville Inconnue

Tatiana Romanova Surya said...

evita! amazing!
don't worry bout the world, they sometimes do {unreasonably} expect too much ;P of course nobody can please everybody.
but your guts to do what you feel right, well that's just something GOLDEN!
this story of yours is like champagne glasses clinking in my head, aha! like the thought behind the drawing, how i see you as someone who'll always be herself even with the twirly twists of the world, and inevitable changes life brings.
i don't know you in person, but this story makes me love you more!
enjoy your wonderland! :")

Ari Suci Rahayu said...

Very cute as always
Heart your dress ♥♥
so adorable


M. Ersa Adiprasetya said...

wow amazing evita.. i love the photography, and the wonderland idea is briliant! i like it :) love the old dress !

han said...

wow evita, nice photos as always
are u editing those using photoshop?

oxox, djhanq
tattoo freak

hanny arianty gultom said...

ade evitaaa..u're wiserrr in your age..u watch Oprahhh!cool!..hehe..i'm so happy that u have a supported family with all of your decision to make.. ^^, gk usah terlalu terburu2 de.. yeps, as i like to say that enjoy yer funn timee... u won't regret that to have a playful and fun lifee... hehe.. slalu semangatt yah belajarnyaaa.. ^^, GBU

Sumayku Xena said...

hey evita! thanks for link me in your blog!i like your fashion sense :) and you have a beautiful wonderland, may i know where you edit those photos? thanks and please answer :)

you can answer it to my e-mail

please evita!
once again thanks for link me!

Giska Taradella said...

evitaa, old dress nya lucu banget :* hehe, aku ka giska :)

Atika Amalina said...

hey evita, i love your style so much :)

Fahrani Nisrina said...

waw ceritanya bagus bangeeet, aku juga suka bando pita kamu. keep posting!

Starr Crow said...

these are amazing dear. i love your blog.

sabdaziz said...

dear you so great!! i realy like! *hug and kisses*

Veronica Anita said...

I always love your photos !
kamu edit sendiri itu?
too bad, you refused it, it's a great chance, but it's all up to you, right?

Tarina Lemigova said...

That's a right decision I guess,, because I think the most important thing is that you do what you want not do what people want... Don't be fall from what people think or said about you,,,
Just cheer up :D cause lots of people love you..

Loves your photographs, evita ^0^

Gilbert Ganda said...

thats the super of you!
you are adorable really! amazing dear!

I super love your vintage dress! really remind me of the alice! just you have the different hair cut from her!


Rebecca Clairine said...

oh !
i love ur outfit and photos !
it's looks like alice in wonderland .

wonderful blog ! :D


Wahy said...

those photos are awesome!
I love the way she edited them. :) xx

Shaishalala said...

I dont believe the ol' saying, "Opportunity only knocks once."
However, I do believe (I mean I FIRMLY BELIEVE) this quote:
“Success always comes when preparation meets opportunity”

you are preparing your life, evita! and with thoughtful preparation, success, fame, opportunities, and more will come as results of your hardworking self!

Don't get discourage with "hatred" or "jealousy".. you do your own thing and enjoy everything life has to offer!

best support from far away land aka The Big Apple.. 'Sha

Bookworm Bitch said...

wow congratulations and that was very brave of you to say no when it didn't feel right :) just wanted to let you know that you really inspire me and i LOVE your blog xx

Stephani Janet said...

wow~ that chance is a very great ones~!
you are a very lucky girl! :)
you're still young, the chances are still a lot outside there :))

nice to read ur story!
love the pictures! they are just sooo great! :)

Anonymous said...

chacha! you're soooo wonderful! wonderful kid in wonderland... :D i wish i can be like you... :D

Starr Crow said...

i wrote a blog post about you (because i think you really cool). :)

Katie (Lemon Jitters) said...

You are so intelligent and wise for your age!

gerandis said... cool u are! salut..di umur yg masih begitu muda..kamu udah punya pandangan yg berbeda dalam menghadapi pilihan! udah tau apa yg bener2 kamu pengenin! *gemez pengen nyubitin kamu! *hugs!

bdw..its owesome pictures...kyaknya aq bakalan ngefans ma kamu....*gemessss

Ucup said...

you're not only the coolest kid in the whole town, but the wisest too!!

keep on the good work!!! i love all the photos... :)

I am rose said...

you never stop to amazed me little lady! you are beyond amazing, this set is my favorite! awesome editing skill I must say.

cheers sweet pie,take care

miapuspacinantya said...

wow!! AWESOME! and the pic..i love 'em

riri.lariza said...

evitaa, i'm curious.
pake software apaa sih buat edit foto ? lucu lucu sekali. :)
can you give me the tutorials ?
thanks before.

Philida Thea said...

two thumbs up for your decision..
wow, you are eleven years old but so mature.. :)
when people offered something good for you, it didn't mean good for your self..
just follow your heart, Evita! :)

Stefani Angela said...

it's hard to say "no" for that tempting offer. lol. but i feel you. how you wanna live just like what you want. :) perhaps, it's good to refuse something that you feel you haven't ready (yet) instead you said "yes" then it would be messed your life up. :p
anyway, lovee your pictures. thumbs up for your wonderland <3

Anonymous said...

dearest Evita,
oh u're just too good to be true's kinda rare for a cute lil girl like u think beyond such things.. :)

Anonymous said...

evita, you ar really really amazing girl i love your all pic here,cute,funny and so young :)
btw, i've link you if dont mind link me back oke :)

Andini Haryani said...

Superbly beautiful pictures aside, I think you are one wise and awesome kid, nerdy or cool. You'll make an even better adult, I bet. So here's to that decision you've made and to being a happy-less stressed girl! Cheers!

Sam Junaib said...

wow! very nice photos!! :D

aulia said...

honey, u are so wise! :D i think u can be a PSYCHIATRIST someday:p LOL. u really know how to do it! i really love ur decision :) sometimes, its more beautiful to not-having-all things in the world.

daisychain said...

amazing post.

Laura Tenshi said...

Yes,you are the coolest kid in town she is right and wow,that was a huge opportunity but don't worry you are still very young and I am sure there will be lots and lots of opportunities in the future.People are like that,they create their own little world with they own little characters.When they see that not everything is as they imagined they blame you for not living up to their expectation. But you shouldn't expect anything from anybody just accept them for who they are.You don't have to dress up everyday,of course not.Clothes don't make you unique,your personality does.Love the blue dress and your "Wonderland" pictures.
Tokyo and Seoul Dreams

Kasia W. said...

gorgeous pics!

maybeBijousacat said...

What a beautiful post with the pictures and your story. I'm sure when you look back on your post when you are 17 or 18, you know you made the right decision.

You are such a brilliant and diligent girl. you have great elegance and perspective in life. I wish I had the same view of the world as you do when I was 11. The pictures and blogs always make me happy/smile/enjoy life. :D

With much love,
your fan & reader!

dela said...

it must be hard choice, but whatever you picked, it'll be the best. i believe we all should listen to our heart, even to answer most exciting chance in life.
glad to know that you have considered a lot before saying yes, and hopefully someday when you're ready, the chance will come to you again. I am sure it'll come!
So, before that, let's playing in wonderland! XD

Unknown said...

ur so talented girl!!1 but take ur time, when ur ready for the challenge, u'll know it :)

Anonymous said...

Evita, one of your readers said you are wiser than your years -this is so true, it comes across just in the way you express your ideas & how you express yourself through your words , dress & pictures! Its hard to be different in this world! it takes alot of courage to be yourself when its different from others! Albert Einstien once said " brilliant spirits often encounter violent oppostion from mediocre minds" some peoples small brains & lives cant comprehend your brilliance. just be as you are you are magnificant! ariel.x

Anonymous said...

Evita, one of your readers said you are wiser than your years -this is so true, it comes across just in the way you express your ideas & how you express yourself through your words , dress & pictures! Its hard to be different in this world! it takes alot of courage to be yourself when its different from others! Albert Einstien once said " brilliant spirits often encounter violent oppostion from mediocre minds" some peoples small brains & lives cant comprehend your brilliance. just be as you are you are magnificant! ariel.x

hannah, heart city said...

just beautiful!

Hartinah said...

waaaaa i'm fall in love with ur photos!!!!!
really like ur dress, and all things in that picture is soo nature, hehehe

Dorothy Souhuwat said...

nice pics..
it not alice in the wonderland but evita nuh in the wonderland..

The Red Sole Heels said...

wow.. really nice blog.. this is my first visit to your blog.. enter my giveaway and win the prize :)

Magic Happens Here! said...

love it =P

ninit said...

Hello Evita,
I'm Nitya K, I love your blog so much.
I'm new in fashion blogging. I am not really confident because I am fat. But I'll try to be fashionable as I can.
Hope you can visit my blog
thanks :)

-mandayandalove2T- said...

love these picture most

you are so gorgeous...

Ola said...

wow. you are so wise even though you are only 11.
I mean like, you know what are you going to choose and I can't agree more. It's a good decision when you turn down the offer, I got a bad feeling too when I read it.

sedikit nasihat, haha (tiba tiba jadi bhs indo)

nikamati masa masa sekolah !! jangan sibuk ngelakuin hal lain. kamu gak tau betapa menyesalnya ketika kamu melewati masa masa itu.

It's really nice to know a kid that knows what she's want.
Good luck with life, kid. :D

Unknown said...

really vintage!n i love vintage:)

Anonymous said...

kudos for the photo editing!! u are a pro!
it's my first comment anyway, nice blog :D

JESSICA said...

do what you think is the best for your life dear :) even i wish i could buy your book later and stuffs.
but i think youve chosen your own way.
nice clothes by the way..

have a nice weekend evita,

Dianaurora said...

ohhh,, i really really LOVE ur photos , its like alice in woderland!! (:

u r beautiful girl , dear !

visit mine if u don't mind .. hehe (:

Melissa Tjioeputri said...

What a beautiful pictures and story, evita.
it must be hard choice, but i know, whatever you choose, if you choose from the bottom of your heart, it'll be the best for you..

and i never hate you, even you too usual and nothing special, even if you switch from the "fashion girl". It does not matter to me.
however you, you still Evita, an eleven years old girl who teach me a lot of things :)


Fenny Wong said...

Hey Evita,
I stumbled across your blog and read your posts. I truly think that you're even more mature than other 11-years-old girls.... You sincerely say that you are scared to take up something new, something big as drawing an illustration book, and honesty is a very mature thing.

I am a writer. I can say so because I've written a novel a year ago. I was 17. At first I even asked my publisher to allow me to use a pen name. They say that using my real name would give me much more publication, and I asked them not to print my last name. But in the end, I printed my full name on the cover of my novel. Well... in the end, I felt that I was brave enough.

I was scared too.... Like, I was only a high school girl. Publishing a novel was a big thing for me. I really love my work, I also believe that my work can bring many others happiness. But I also know that many people would hate me because of my work, they will loathe me and they will criticize me. I was scared one of my classmate would walk up to me and say, "Hey, I've read your novel. You sucks so much, how can even a sh*t like that get published?"

But I took my risk. Now if I see someone on the internet not liking my novel and saying bad things about it, I can smile. I think I am braver now, and I'm glad I printed my full name on the cover. Every criticism made me a little bit stronger everyday, and I strive to be better day by day.

I hope someday you can find the similar bravery that I've found. Taking new steps in your life or changing how people look at you maybe frightening at first, but it's something you have to do to improve yourself.

I'm sorry I posted such a long comment. But I hope I can reach you. :)


-LilsTar- said...

hehehe... totally agree with mbak Ratih..
you are the coolest little girl i ever know...:)

it's good, at 11 years old... you already have attitude.. you're such a deep-thinker.. salute!:)

purnay said...

i love your olden-day looking dress! where'd you get it?

Anonymous said...

Evita you're not an ordinary girl... once i saw your blog, i know there's something huge inside you...i thought maybe you're not supposed to be an 11 years old girl, you're more mature than your old... you much wiser that any kind of 11 years old girl..

i adore you so much... and i think i agree with Mbak Ratih you're the coolest girl ever..

and i smile so wide when i read your reason rejecting mbak ratih's offered.. maybe if i were you, i will said yes without any doubt... then i realized, YOU always being different... i'm sure, when you've grown are going to be a very amazing woman...

it's pity i don't know more abt you... it's pity i just can read your blog, and keep adoring a wonderful girl out there..

suzsuz said...

are u really 11?? u r so matured and wise for ur age..salute~

iamronel said...

great indeed..:)

iamronel said...

such a cute girl..:)

Other blog's

Q.C. said...

oh evita, I heart your Alice-dress! it's so nice :D

Anonymous said...

love the photograph...

visit mine please...

Anonymous said...

nice dress :)

eric said...


Sum said...

These are AMAZING!

Wanderlust said...

you're gonna be the next big thing, Evita. keep up the good work!

Paris Most Wanted said...

Hi Evita,

Thanks for your comment on our blog. Your blog is absolutely amazing, you have a great sense of style and it's almost unbelievable you're only 11!
But like they say, age aint nothing but a number. Style is universal and you got it!

Your blog is so inspiring, keep up the great work!


Andrea & Sandy

From Paris with Love.

Hanna Faridl said...

Hi Evita..
Have nothing to say but really amaze with this blog. You are so smart, wise and fashionable from heart.
You are (it may sounds too much but it doesnt) what every parent want their kids to become :)

and i really do looove how you always mention your sister and your father. I can feel the warmness and the closeness of your family.

Really nice to know your blog.

Dreamy Princess said...

Owhh.. I love Alice in the Wonderland story and outfit..:)
You look so great there, babe! Keep doing it! You're so talented and creative..

irvanti sufa 'elvanna' said...

KAWAII~~ Lovely and cute!!! co cute for avii :))
---your cousin:sufa(Rii_Kawaii)

Anonymous said...

I remember i read this when I was around 13yo or 14yo, that time aku nggak terlalu paham makna postingan kamu (dulu aku nggak semending sekarang bahasa inggrisnya hehehe)
But, now I read this (21yo) I totally understand, you're such a cool girl until now! I adore you!

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