I seem like an adult but I’m really a child that’s really tall ~ SOBER by BIG BANG

It's just another normal weekend during holiday.  I went out with bunch of friends and then my friends will meet his other friends and then we end up hang out with larger number of friends who I barely know. I get used to that routine anyway, so I'm cool. You do know when bunch of guys' hangout they do talk about music a lot, a lot. So I'm hearing random things ... cool bands name, cool albums, deep purple, nirvana, Kurt Cobain suicide theory, Sigur Rós magical live performance, We the Fest, DWP, booking plane and concert ticket for Florence + Machine tour in November, a deep conversation about one of my friends yeezy 350 Kanye something boost  (no, that's not a band name ... yes it is sneakers they all rants about) all excited about Foo Fighters 2015 tour and even more excited about the news of U2 planning concert tour in 2015 and so on and so on. Just when I'm having my epiphany and come to realize that boys actually chatty just like girls, not to mention that annoying endless high five and fist bump.

You know that moment when everyone is talking so loud and suddenly you noticed the quiet one? He's just a mutual friend so I don't really care at first. He's all quiet, playing with his gadget. Guilty as charged I'm paying more attention probably because he's ultra cute. (I know you will read this, but yes I do think you are cute. Happy?). Perhaps I'm looking at him too long he started to notice, he glances at me, smiling and ask “what?” “Nothing, it is just that I'm the quiet one in here, don't take my title” He laughed and tells me he wasn't trying to and that he has different taste on music. I told him, I know the feeling since I love old singers and all and he answered me with “No, it's different  … I'm a VIP” at that moment I'm done talking, I hate that kind of obnoxious people who thinks that they all are better just because they think that they have better taste in music. I don't even bother to smile at him or anything and just answered, “ah I see … nice.” “Do you even know what VIP is?” He asked, I answer him with “hmmm …” “I bet you don't…” he added again, nice …obnoxious and smart-ass, perfect. This why I hate cute guys, they are mostly annoying. I think he's bored with his smartphone because he tries to talk to me again. I don't even ask when he says, “VIP is a name for Big Bang fans…” I answered him with long “aaaaah …okay” He smiled to my answer “No… not, big bang theory… this is a Korean band you may not know about.” I’m actually feel guilty because I thought he's a douche bag for a moment. “I don't know that VIP is a name for Big Bang fans, but I do know Big Bang…” and he looks super happy and excited about it “Do you? Really? You do? Which song? Do you already hear their new song?” Okay I'm just creating a monster. “Hmm… only Bang Bang Bang, my dance teacher uses that song and their dance to practice basically this whole month. So, I only know that one song” I can tell he's a bit disappointed, but I guess he decided that it's better than nothing because I can't stop him from talking about Big Bang. He also observing me from many angles when I told him that many people told me I look like GD or remind them of him (even showing him of some emails from girls who wrote they are in love with me because I look like GD).

So, during that long dinner he told me that he's half British and half Korean. His mother is from Korea and he's never been to Korea until last year. He doesn't know the language, but familiar with it because he still hears it when his mother having a phone calls or when relatives come to visit. And, on his visit to Korea one of his cousin made him listening to Big Bang and how it's hard to not be fans, the band is so big there, super big, it's massive, he swears it's like he got brainwashed or something. This is his word “I'm coming all gloomy and dark typical British punk kid and left the country singing bad boy and all swag.” Ah you just can't shield yourself from the charm and magic of boy's sparkling eyes when he's talking about something he loves. I thought this is only happens if they are talking about machines, rockets or punk rock band, who would have thought the magic is still there and working well when a boy talking about how cool and genius GD is.

He offered to take me home that night and no surprise … of course he makes me listening to Big Bang new songs, If You and Sober and tell me the meaning of the song. He even makes me open YouTube to watch their movie video. And, guess what? I'm actually like it, I swear it's not because the boy next to me is so cute. I'm brutally honest remember? So, I do like it, it's a great song.

Especially Sober, and thanks to my personal translator I know the meaning of the song and I can say totally relate to it. On the contrary of how cheerful, fun and happy the MV is the lyrics actually sad and depressing and have deep meaning on it.

-       My take on the song is on how hard actually living is and how we somehow need to high on something or cling on to something to be able to survive.

-       That sometimes it's fun when someone is try to pick a fight with you and you just play along not because you annoyed by that person, but just it's nice to release your anger for the world to someone and of course a douche bag is a perfect punch bag.

-       How dull live is if money and fame is what you are looking for in live because once you are on top with fame and all you will somehow realize it's all nothing and empty and you start wondering is this all you want.

-       That love and friendship is good, but it doesn't mean it won't take you for granted and you must have experienced some phase in life when making friends, love and all the drama are tiring and it's draining all of your energy.

-       How this world is not always happy place with all these people who are keep judging and expect things from you, how you feel like an outcast most of the time and need to act and pretend ‘normal' so people will think you are normal.

-       How hard it is to pretend all the time that sometimes you just want to runaway from things like (responsibility, family, society) and sometimes you just want to go off grid, away from cruel and demanding society. How you wish you could just drive away, go as far as you can and be in peace for just a moment, because acting as grown up is tiring.

-       That moment when you feel that excruciating lonely feeling, it starts to physically hurts. And, a midnight call to your private doctor seems like the best idea because you don't know how to deal with the pain and asking for his help and hope he knows how to cure your pain. And, feel more depress because you know he knows nothing.

-       That feeling when you are wondering when all this will end? Why time is super slow sometimes you feel numb.

The song from me is actually like Peter Pan writing a song about growing up in normal society and he’s choked with all the rules and responsibility while all his want is being a lost boy to his dreamland. Sober for me it’s about growing up with no exit way. So I agree it’s hard to be sober, it’s hard and darn it’s scary! And the song is also telling me about how it’s hard the world we are living in, don’t make it harder by doing and chasing something you are not passionate about. Because along with growing up you find yourself giving up on your passion and your real dream in the name of ‘make a living’. 

I love songs I can relate to and this Sober is perfectly captured all my feelings, make me wondering do the person who wrote this gone through all the shit I’ve been through? Or he/she just genius on captured other people feelings, pain and mind. You can say a song is a good song when you are thinking “wait so I’m not alone in this world? There’s actually someone who can relate to me?” and Sober is that kind of song. So kudos GD you’ve got new fans right here (can’t call myself a VIP since I only know 2 songs from Big Bang, but I have a feeling I will be) and if all your fans is as passionate as my VIP boy then I believe Big Bang will be even more bigger in the future. 

Ah and have fun for all VIP who I'm sure having a blast on their Jakarta concert tonight!

So here’s you go I’m trying channeling all 5 members from sober movie video. I’m sorry to all VIP out there if my photos don’t do justice on how beautiful the real video is, but here you go anyway. Can you tell (without peeking on last picture) whom am I channeling on each look? I challenge you. 

And here's an idea ... play the song and be dreamy for a while.

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