My my ! January is end already, and we almost get to mid February... this is might be the most late Happy New Year in the century, but I read somewhere it's okay to be one month late than never. So... HAPPY NEW YEAR! and Happy Chinese New Year too! and by the way it's official I'm 14 years old now! ( well it's been a month or so... but still! I'm a real teenager now! ) so you all owe me a birthday wishes. Hehehe. If you can, can you wish me to be better on time management? so I can pay more attention to my blog?
I know my excuses must be bored you all, but that's the truth, school is killing me like always, oh on a second thoughts! why don't you wish me a better grades? so I don't have to take extra hours on school lesson and all those private lessons? pleaseee? I heard wishing a good grades for a girl with bad grades can bring you good luck. Hahaha yes just made that up...
Ehm, as a new 14th years old girl I've found myself doing soul searching lately, do I do good? Do I love myself enough? Do I this and do I that... well you know all those stupid questions about yourself... I guess it's a normal thing when you just turn 14th. I got some answers for my questions and some might still blurry... well maybe couple years from now I will have all the answers. My shrink ( well he prefer me to call him doc or psychotherapist ) but doc keep reminds me to bugs bunny and psychotherapist is too long.. so yeah...shrink it is) on my last session in 2012... wait I think it's a week before my 14th birthday, he asked me like 10 minutes before the session end "Cha, what do you want to be or what your wishes on your 14th birthday and answer me honestly please..." and I answer him "well you know... to be normal... yes that's right, I want to be normal!" and he said "you are normal" and I said to him "it's not fair, I gave you honest answer and you give me a lie, if I any near to normal, I won't be here, while most of my friends probably in mall with their parents as we talking right now" and he just laughed.
He also said he do have a hard time understand and figuring me out, well more like what's inside my head and I told him, well you actually don't have to, because you will never understand me, even I don't understand me. I told him "you can always guess and I can always lie. Most of the times you telling me what actually I have in mind, and I said "exactly!" then again I was lied, just because I want the session to end". He said I have problem of being very introvert person but then I told him about my blog, I said to him, I have blog, you know some kind digital diary ( ok he's cutting me off and said "I know what blog is"... ~ and yes he said he also a very loyal reader of mine... so you might read this hehehe...) I said again to him "I share so many things for the world to read and tell me again of me being too introvert?" He laughed again and told me I'm a change person, I'm more open, more happy and that's a good thing. But maybe not good enough, because I still have another appointment with him on 2013 hahaha so I still need to be fix.
Why am I telling you all this, it's because there's some things that concern me so many times. You see I love receiving emails, messages and all that telling me (somehow and I still don't know how) that I inspired some people it's a heaven on earth knowing I do have that effects ( again, I don't know how) because nothing can make me happier than knowing someone out there have me as an inspiration. I'm literally speechless... but the one that concern me and bugging me that I also I got some letters that saying after seeing me and thinking that I'm so perfect she/he felt lost and even feel unworthy. I might sounds seasoned beyond my years but that's because I through a lot, not because I'm perfect or anything near that. I can lost counts on how imperfect I am. I can mention some in blink of an eye, let see... I have super giant big teeth, I socially awkward, I'm bad at math (and other 10 lessons), I sometimes hurt people feeling without even realizing and lets just face it I'm a super weirdo... the whole class in my school will agree to this and so many other flaws I have. So no, I'm not perfect or anything near that. How can I be perfect when all I want in the world is to be simply normal? But what I am is, I fully realized that I'm a very ambitious as a person, I know my goal and what I want and will do everything in my power to achieve that. You see, I'm not perfect but I am perfectionist.
Fiuuhh what a hard talk in the middle of the night right? hahaha I just think I need to say it. So I hope with this no single soul felt lost or unworthy just because of me anymore. And oh some tips! if you in a moment where you feel not pretty or something like that, try asked your parents, because I do that. My dad will always said I'm the prettiest creature on earth no matter what ( well I had same score with my two sisters.. but still).
Lets go with lighter things! Fashion week is coming again my friends! Don't you just love fashion week? great collections from many great designers. Seeing masterpiece from master of designers always bringing up my mood but seeing new fresh designers with breathtaking collection and new idea always excites me more. I love people with creative mind! Make me always feel God is so gracious, God make humans and give them brain that can creates unspeakable and breathtaking things. Other thing that I love the most about fashion week is something that also very nice and fun to see is none other than the crowd it self! those fashion people! aren't they lovely? people with different background, different story different taste gather around in one event. I'm guilty as charged but sometimes I found myself loving the crowd more that I enjoy the show. So you see I love fashion show but have I told you I'm socially awkward? and plus my school schedule is kindda crazy? So I have to missed most of the fashion week. To redeem my sadness I made this just to show you how much I love the fashion crowds. Hehehe Enjoy! hope you like it.
Ohhh and I will not forget this! the winner for my giveaway issss... *DRUMROLL*
Teresa Larasati Mardiandra
congratulation girl! I will contact you through email tomorrow! ;)
This time I create six character, I got inspired when I read Korean Vogue that make a fashion spread with front row girls as a theme. You know how in some fashion event you can see some girls hangout with each other since forever, I want to create that, this 6 girls is friends since they were born, lucky girl because all of them born with silver spoon in their mouth and well of course front row seat is always have their names. One is a senator daughter, the other one is daughter of a rock band singer and the other is owner of big company... for the rest you can create the story for them hehehe... I'm wearing picnic shop dress and outerwear keep falling in love with their collection!
