03 June, 2010

just give the devil his due

Hello all, how are you? Gosh! it's been too long since my last post right? No oh, not gonna give you any excuses, my bad.. my bad. Hehehe. So how's life? well, mine is okay. Exams is over, already do my best and let God do the rest. ( ughh, my heart is pounding everytime I'm thinking about the result ) so let's just forget all of the exam thing shall we?

Anyhow, I've been thinking lately, it might be true that time has wings, I can't believe how fast time flies! it's almost two years since my first post, that means we've been friends for almost two years too! It's quite long time right? so I guess we are bestfriend now? and I really want to say thank you for everything from the deepest of my heart. You guys are the best! there's so many times your support and love touched me too deep. It's still amaze me, that from this blog, I can have you all, one of the greatest gift a God could give. you. a friend. my friend! my bestfriend!

Since we were a bestfriend now, and bestfriend do tell, so I'm gonna share something, something that I never tought I would have the guts to tell. So here it is... Me in the old time doesn't have many friends, only a few. And the worst part is , in my old time I was bullied by one of my friend, yes I'm a bully victim, oh I mean I was... and trust me, it's hell. you have no idea how it feels, going to school, with pounding heart, my stomach is ached, always felt I could just throw up. Every single day. yes every single day. Why she done such things to me? I will never know, my teacher said maybe it's because I look weak. I don't know why, but she just always find a way to annoyed me, if it's not one thing it's another. teased me, mocked me. She done it too many times, I get used to it. I felt so numb, I played this phrase in my head over and over again "sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me" It works. for a few moments thou. because it's really true, the tongue wounds more than the lance.

Until one day I think I had enough, I'm getting sick of this thing. It's the day that I finally realized that she will never ever stop. You like all the people else might want to say, why don't you fight back? Well I tried, she said bad words, I cursed back. but she only get worse, and I stop. what's the point? if to defend myself I have to be like her, I choose to step back. cursing her not only hurt her, it's hurting me too. Maybe it's because I don't raised that way, as simple as that. God, I can't even imagine how my daddy or my sisters would feel if they heard me cursed other people with rage. My daddy always said to me, two wrongs don't make a right, what he want to say is, it's wrong to harm someone just because they have harmed you. So, no sir, no thank you. I'm done. So I go to my dad, and tell him, I asked him take me away from her, place me in place where I don't need to see her face again. and he did.

So here I am now, the happiest kid in town, I have many friends now, and I have to tell you, they all amazing! well don't get jealous, you all are amazing too! don't worry I had enough love to share. hehehe. So yes, I learned that every cloud does have a silver lining , I learn it in a very hard way. I mean, if I don't get bullied, I won't asked my dad to moved me, and I will never meet my true friends that I have now. and it would be a very big lost, don't you think? so yes, I think it's no use to cry over a spilled milk, just see the bright side.

Why am I telling you this? well it's because, not long time ago, I don't know how and why, she contacted me through my formspring ( oough! it reminds me, so sorry for my late answer, I promise I'll try to catch up! ) and she said ( again) a bad words, the funny thing is , I don't even care and she also said that I must still remember her, well if that makes you happy, I do remember you. She also asked why I never answer her question nor approve her friend request on my facebook and in the end she also said that she changed now. Well good for you, but just so you know, I'm so sorry, I will never approve your friend request. And if you ask me why, the reason is, It's not because I'm still mad or anything, It's just I want to keep you out of sight, out of mind. For all of the things you have done to me, I forgive you. I really really do, however I do forgive but I'll never forget. And I'm the kind of person who believe that a leopard can never change it's spots. Sorry.

I have my new life, and I hope you do too, and for our best I think it's better that we stay away from each other. You stay mine, and I'll stay yours.What is past history is history, what is done is finished, what done can't be undone, so please just let bygones be bygones.

fiuhh, long talk right? hehehe but I feel so much better now, thanks to you all! and now all I want to ask is, please promise me, that if you in any chance through the same thing, you will tell your parents, don't hold it to yourself. They know better. Trust me, sometimes it's okay to step back, and just give the devil his due. Promise? I'll take it as a yes!

Just like Howard Beale from old movie, network said
stand up wherever you are, go to the nearest window, and yell as loud as you can,
"I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore!"

so hasta la vista my dear friend! have a very good day okay?! Yay! it's weekend!

kisses and hugs! and oh get ready for a great many pictures of moi ! hehehe


Always thinking, if only school allow me to dress this way, like a hoodlum. I bet theres no one in any chance brave enough to pick a quarrel with me. yeah... If only.....

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I don't want to kill everyone... just my enemies
~ Al-Pacino in Goodfather

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red bowler hat : from my sister
leather jacket : zara kids
black shirt : zara kids
red apple brooch : mango
necklaces : to many to remember, hehehe
black jeans : tailor made


hope you like my pictures, it's my sister idea to only popped out the red color, she got the idea from a picture in one of clothing store in Bandung, and i think it's kindda cool. this is old pic, just never got the time to edit and upload it :) until now...

 
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